I work in a clinic as a counselor. We "treat" addicts and mentally ill. (Sounds like we take them out for lunch, doesn't it? Here, let me "treat" you to lunch, heroin addict.) We assess these people to determine if they have a substance abuse problem or not. I like to ask them if they do. They usually will say yes or no, predominantly the answer is no. Then I ask them what their definition of a substance abuse problem is. (I should write a book on those answers.) My point here? We all judge things by our own definition of those things. What is a good Mom, who is a kind person, was Jared Loughen crazy? Was he anti-establishment? Was he just pissed off?
I teach cognitive behavioral therapy. I stress again and again, that our working definitions of anything are so important. It’s those definitions that we use to view the world through and more importantly judge. Being kind: a heroin addict gives some of his heroin to another addict who has run out. Being kind: Arresting the heroin addicts so they are "helped." Being kind: Allowing them to choose their own course in life. Feel free to add further definitions of “kind” in this scenario. Our society has split and we are warring against each other. We aren’t Americans anymore. We are Republicans or Democrats, Gay or straight, for the President, against the President and on it goes. We have always disagreed and judged based on our definition of things but we didn’t carry signs of our President being hung by the KKK. We didn’t say people should be targeted and “taken out”. Rush Limbaugh has power based on what? He is a drug addict and was “preaching” while under the influence. What are we thinking? Sarah Palin is a gorgeous woman, by my definition, but I don’t want someone who says to her child, “Don’t retreat, reload” to be in charge of our position in the world. A good President: Doesn’t take crap from any world leader. A good President: Shakes hands and bows to world leaders according to custom. A good President: Gives all Americans health care. A good president: Doesn’t steal taxes to give healthcare to Americans who can’t afford it. The “right” way to live: Capitalism. The “wrong” way to live: Socialism.
A new age saying: It is what it is. I say, no, it is what you think it is and don't believe everything you think. Choose love and respect for all.
I went from one emotion to another. Admittedly I got a bit lost at the end but there's plenty of names in there that I don't recognise.
ReplyDeleteI'm interested though, I shall be back to learn more.
Hello Tim, allow me to introduce myself...Hi, I'm Lisa! I forgot to do that the last time I was here, please feel free to call me that, but I answer to Widow Lady too.
ReplyDeleteI am going to LOVE your blog I can tell that right now. There are so many talking points in this post my head is spinning. (I am an INTJ, if that helps to explain hahaha!)
The problem I face now, is how do I comment without making it as long as your post...I'll hold myself back I guess.
Kind, in the scenario you describe, perhaps: Keeping another user from buying bad drugs. Or, staying with someone who is having a bad trip/Over dosed.
I agree we are a society divided by labels, and would also add that these labels have made us lazy thinkers. We don't need to research or think about the individual choices put in front of us, politically speaking since that is the topic but I think it goes beyond that as well, because we have settled for being spoon fed easily digestible information bites in the form of labels. Which, I find kind of humorous, since if you talk to most people they like to be celebrated for their own uniqueness as an individual, but are completely happy to label themselves or others in one camp or another. Billions of people, and yet we are either this way, or that way...doesn't make sense. But it is a part of our shared and silently agreed upon illusion that there is a good and bad side of politics to be on, US versus THEM. The reality of it, I think, is that camp mentality keeps us impotent as a nation, and individuals. We are handing over control, and we don't have to put much effort into our choices. We end up making our political choices out of a sense of outrage and emotion, rather than breaking down what is really going on, and more than that WHY.
You use Palin as an example, which she does make a good example...The "map" with the bulls-eyes, it is silly to think she herself came up with that idea. It is the same kind of propaganda that has been used in advertising since advertising came into existence. Her entourage of handlers took her "earthy" image, known for hunting, fishing, and "down home" values, they played to the imagery her constituents would find appealing. Now as I watch the opinions unfold on places like facebook, twitter, and digg, I see people outraged at the symbolism, and some have latched onto that saying she was sending a message through the imagery, and some have gone so far as to say she encouraged it (perhaps paid for it). That doesn't make any more sense to me than the entire Rock music or video games are at fault for (fill in the blank) social problem. I think you will agree with me when I say a person who is mentally ill can grab onto just about anything and receive a "special message" from it, Burkowitz heard it in his neighbors dog, and John Forbes Nash Jr. heard messages from illusionary people. I know in the cinema he was portrayed as seeing messages in newspaper, but I don't know how accurate that is to him but I know it does happen. I wouldn't vote for someone who used Palin's style of propaganda, not because I see it as being unethical or an insightment to voilence, but because it feeds the divisive mentality that already exists.
It is what it is, is an interesting statement, it does give us the opportunity to define what "IT" is, if we are aware enough to continue the thought. Uncovering what "it" really is is the first step to rationally over coming "it". Marcus Aurelius agreed with you, life is what our thoughts make it I do too. We tend to become what we fear and hate on some level, and that controls our actions, which controls our outcome.
Any way, I'm rambling...Thank you for your post!
SJ, Please feel free to ask about anything that interests you. I’m all about explaining things further, if someone gets lost in the words. Peace, Tim
ReplyDeleteLisa, I’m excited that you want to engage in dialogue here, it’s sorely needed… dialogue. It’s been a real long time since I did the INTJ test but it seems I am the same as you. I’ll have to do it again
ReplyDeleteI will attempt to address all of your points. Why hold back on comments, it’s fine with me if they are as long as the post. I did want to say the post was not meant to be about politics per se. I know it went there but my point was to illustrate how we define things differently and how that defines us in the end. E.g. I believe (define) women to be less competent than men. Therefore, this belief (definition) defines me as a misogynist. I know you don’t care for labels and I don’t like them either when founded on misinformation. However, I do think labels are necessary to help define people and groups in order for people to interact in the most beneficial ways. I am a professional drummer, therefore, I am interested in joining a group of other people labeled “drummers”. If I am a gang member of the Bloods, in order for self preservation, I want to know who has labeled themselves as Crypts. Labels have their place but I also know how they can be a source of contention, disrespectful and just plain wrong. As far as being unique, we are all unique. My life experiences, personally and professionally, tell me that most people want to be like others. We are all unique and I wish our culture would make that okay if one’s uniqueness isn’t a “popular” one. I love your comment about making political decisions and choices based on emotion. They polled the Tea Party gatherings when they began. Most of the people gathering didn’t know the party’s platform or why they were gathering! . I agree with you, it makes us, as a nation impotent. It makes us, as a society, self destructing. I will stop here and comment on the rest of your post in another comment.
Lisa,
ReplyDeleteJust a bit more about Sarah Palin’s crosshairs over Gabrielle Gifford’s district and violent video games. I differ in opinion somewhat with you. I do believe that things would be better without a map of places that need to be taken out with crosshairs on them. Studies consistently show that young people who play violent video games end up with a distorted view or that behavior being a viable option in life. The Columbine killers are an example. I do try to live by REBT and the way to determine if one is “rational” according to REBT is to answer the question: Does it make my life better? Does it make your life better? I can’t arrive at how the map with crosshairs makes anyone’s life better, even as a precipitant to positive needed change. I don’t see where it does that. When disputed, the belief that violent video games are harmless and don’t affect behavior, it fails. Always open to debate of course. May I ask what state you live in? I am from New York.
Peace,
Tim
I live in the state of denial..HAHA! Sorry a small bit of mental health humor. I live in Ohio. I agree with you on a lot of things, so just to let you know, I'll take on devils advocate from time to time just for the spirit of good debate and dialogue. It is a habit I picked up from my late husband, one I found useful. It helped me be able to clearly define my thoughts on a subject.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree, Cross-hairs on a map does not make life better for anyone, but the same can be said for most violent movies, and some musical styling. You are very correct, what we look at long enough we take into ourselves and become on some level. I think especially with teens since the impulse control centers of their brain are not fully developed. People who are cognitively impaired in some way the same. Even completely stable people (not that we all can't be found in the DSM on some level) if they submerge themselves in something can't have their perceptions terribly warped...cults and gangs are great examples.
But I still don't see the imagery itself as the problem, as much as I see the lack of education about the imagery and what it really means. Our cultures are flooded with violent and negative images. We have habituated to it. I guess in my perfect world, Palin would be free to use the cross-hairs, but we as a people would be educated enough to see it for what it really is (propaganda, and an incitement) and not only reject it for ourselves, but be wise enough to protect our most vulnerable people from it.
LOVE the points you made about labels and I agree with you actually! Political labels are the ones I dislike the most I think, because once a candidate wears the label democrat we don't need to think much beyond that. We assume we know what they stand for, when in fact I think it is a bit more complicated than that.
Love talking with you, Tim! Your blog was/is a golden find!
Can I take credit for the gold????? ohhhh come on..just a little bit?????? ok ok back to my corner I go...LOLOL As always...XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteYou can, Bongo! I was looking over your blog and the people you follow, so indeed you are to thank! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwww shucks LOLOL thanx...I'm glad you found Tim...He's an awesome guy and a wealth of knowledge and compassion ...As always...XOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteI think Tim is MIA.....hmmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDelete