How should it be?

My life is out of order this week. I struggle with “shoulds” and other people’s behavior. Does the apostrophe come after the e or the s in the prior sentence? I should write that correctly. My wife and I are being laid off from our jobs later this year. I should be happy to have a job, right? (I am.) A religious “outfit” is taking over our clinics. Cynicism on my part? Yes. Judgemental? For sure.

My wife works at the Mental Health Clinic. The clinic I work at is part of that system. The local government has decided to close both clinics to save money “in these difficult times.”  I guess it’s okay to fund mental health and addiction services when times are not so tough. The mentally ill and addicted may have different opinions about that. My opinion on that at this point, you ask? I am not really sure. Even those people’s behavior is starting to make me wonder. Shouldn’t they be doing something to help themselves, I find myself asking. Shouldn’t they stop having child after child to abuse and misuse? Shouldn’t they stop smoking cigarettes when they can’t afford food? Shouldn’t they stop working under the table and collecting social “entitlements” at the same time?  It IS fraud after all. Am I just angry that many make more money than I while doing this? I must admit that I don’t like that. I am not liking self absorbed people today. To be rational is to understand their motives. That understanding is closer to the surface of my mind at different times, now doesn’t seem to be one of them. 

I read a blog, written by a friend’s friend, about how he and his wife help people in Honduras. These people have nothing. They do have respect however. The women are considered little more than property and start having children when they are children, not by choice. He and his wife help build homes for them, give them medical care and show them positive regard.  
Check it out: http://stevestitanicswimteam.blogspot.com/2011/04/honduras-update-week-at-base-and-home.html

In the face of that, I listen to overindulged Americans complain and complain some more about what they don’t have and how horrible their lives are. I do the same thing. I don’t like that.

I spend time trying to understand, anticipate and deal with others’ behavior. Why? What I have concluded is this: I am not a solitary mindful person. I can be a mindful man but I am part of a greater whole. I am part of the big picture. I behave in ways that irk the hell out of others. I behave in ways that comfort and please others. I do the very thing that I am complaining about in them. I also do the very thing that I seek from others. We are all in this together and we would all be much better off with greater reflection and understanding of the human condition. I will continue to work at that because I choose to. How SHOULD things be? Just as they are for there is no other way at this moment.